I've started...and deleted several blogs...

Doesn't everyone have a blog now-a-days? I keep starting and deleting mine because I want to write. I want to get my thoughts (good, bad, and ugly) out of my head. Aside from that isn't it cool to think that someone out in the world really wants to read about what you have to say? I think so. So if you read this (first of all..COOL..and second, please become a follower so I know it!)

My goal is for this to become my anonymous diary. I wonder though..even if my head wants to be unabashedly honest...will my heart and my fingers follow? I want to write with the mentality that no one will ever know who I am but I still worry about offending someone...Which brings me to my title. I could be a bitch you know. I used to be. I used to be a bitch...and it wasn't even that long ago. What happened? How did I go from telling someone to their face exactly what I thought of them to obsessive worrying about hurting some one's feelings?
Life I suppose. I guess being a stay at home mom with virtually no friends changes a gal.

I once had a boyfriend that answered when asked "Why do you like her?" with "Cuz I love how she can just look at you and make you feel like you are stupid. She often has this look on her face like you are the biggest idiot/asshole she has ever met."
That struck a nerve when I heard him say that. Not so much that I was upset about it, more like I just thought "Hm. Really?"
I've also heard the following "She acts like her shit doesn't stink."; "Did you know that when you turn your head you turn your nose up?" (this was from a family member); "Yes, she's a total bitch." (this was from a very close friend." I could go on but you get the idea.
I've never been called a sweetheart or loving or caring (which I totally think I am).
Yes, I agree..after hearing what people really thought of me you would think that I would try to change. I would smile more and be friendlier..that is where the problem lies. I thought I was smiling and friendly. I thought I was a nice person. We can all be moody and bitchy can't we?
The other thing? I am an extremely insecure person. I think that my apparent bitchiness is misunderstood. I think that during my insecure (constant) moments I just come across as a bitch.

Anyway...how did I get from there to here? Since I rarely leave the houseI guess I could still be considered bitchy, my boyfriend might (ok, he would) be the first one to stand on the soapbox and tell you I am....

So my point with this new blog is that this is me. Really me. My insane thoughts, opinions, and ideas. I admit that the first thought in my head rarely has anything to do with the second but that's just me.

Read, enjoy, leave comments and please don't forget...I could be a bitch you know.